How NOT to do a Pick-Up Routine

Us at the Maniac party

A couple weeks ago, my wife and I went to a Maniac Magazine Launch Party at Elixir Ultra Lounge. While we were there, we met another nice couple and hung out with them.

Later in the evening, we were downstairs, and an interesting thing happened. I was talking with my wife and the other guy’s wife (Girl in Red Chinese Dress, or GRCD), and this guy stepped into our circle and said hi to the two women. A moment later, a second guy stepped in and cut me off from them.

I knew immediately what was happening; knowing and trusting my wife as I do I stood back and enjoyed the show, conversing with the second guy – we’ll call him wingman.

It turns out they were from London; Guy #1 (Soldier Boy) was home from Afghanistan where he’d served with the British Army, and Wingman was his friend. They were traveling the States on vacation.

Soldier Boy was doing his best to get the girls interested, including massive kino (touching) but he wasn’t getting very far. My wife got bored and walked away to GRCD’s husband. I joined them there, and both Soldier Boy and Wingman double-teamed GRCD. I went back over, and Soldier Boy kept stepping in front of me. I laughed it off and continued to engage him in conversation (AMOGing), and finally he turned and started talking to me while my wife rescued GRCD.

I’m sure if the girls had been single it may have worked better – maybe, but hitting on married women in front of their husbands is low-class and pathetic. And they did it so badly it was all I could do to keep from laughing. Props for them trying though. They slunk away, tried two other girls, and after striking out, they left the place.

Better luck next time, chaps!



6 thoughts on “How NOT to do a Pick-Up Routine

  1. Ha Ha! Sounds like a couple of ‘Wild and cr-r-azy guys!’

    You’re a class act Scott, many guys would’ve got loud and angry…

  2. AMOGing? Kino? This sounds familiar. Is this from The website that teaches you how to go from a Non Juan to a Don Juan? That’s hysterial – standing back and watching those two crash and burn.

    I read a blog about clubbing from a bouncer’s perspective: . Check it out sometime – he has tons of stories about clubbing guys of ill manners.

  3. Greetings from England. This is a cool blog. I’m wondering if you have any advice about staying out of the friend zone with girls? I’m really tired of girls telling me they just want to be friends. Perhaps I’m being too much of a nice guy?

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